WellnessWithHolli

Recently, I finished reading  Tara Westover's powerful memoir, "Educated."  This blog is neither a review of her work or a critique of its content. It is about its offerings. I think one of the extraordinary gifts of "Educated" is Ms. Westover's willingness to share her story with raw and rarely revealed levels of vulnerability. I was completely taken by this book. Why?  Because "Educated" Reminds Us, Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost. And, Tara Westover, chose to Speak It Anyway . Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost Folks often question why victims don't speak up or why they don't speak up sooner about their abuse. Although there are many reasons for not doing so and individual circumstances vary greatly,   Tara Westover's memoir courageously unveils the costs of speaking truth about abuse and bravely unearths their painful consequences.  Let's explore three areas of cost: Being Shamed Being Shattered Bein...

We are discussing shaming. More specifically, we are exploring Public Shaming . In  Public Shaming - Part One: Two Costly Casualties , we examined  how the viral nature of Public Shaming is harming Our Children and Our Human Condition.  If you have not already read Part One, please do so before joining us for Public Shaming Part Two: Two Restorative Responses. Although Public Shaming has caused and continues to cause a great deal of injury and pain, we have it in our power to eradicate this toxic behavior. However, it requires that each of us decides whether we want to be part of the ongoing problem or if we want to partake in its solution. It's as simple as that. If you are ready to commit, let's get started with Part Two. 2 Restorative Responses To Public Shaming: A Position of Restraint and A Posture of Unconditional Regard A Position of Restraint Whether you have been shaming others publicly or not, we are going to make a commitment right now to ado...

With the news coverage of the  secrecy and silence surrounding a plethora of sexual assault cases within a "closed system" (a USA gymnastics organization and a university) , it is important to revisit steps for   Proactive Parenting  in the protection of children and in the advocacy of victims. Taking Back My Life - People Magazine, Feb.19, 2018 For the purposes of today's  blog, we are going to focus on  Proactive Principle #2.  Visit  Proactive Parenting (full blog)   for  Proactive Principle #1 .  Tragically, because of on-going sexual assaults of students on our college campuses and universities, examples and statistics will be incorporated to illustrate specific concepts and principles. Proactive Parenting Principle #2    is a tough one - rarely discussed but critically important. Again, integrate it into your mindset and apply it to your parenting style. Here we go. Let's look at how we can protect our children a...

Today's blog is for mature audiences: ages 18 and over. I wrote this blog ten years ago. Sadly, with the news of the Cornell 7, environments of abuse, trauma, and betrayal are still with us.  Parents, guardians, and any youth who might come across this blog, PLEASE take a few moments to read... Today's conversation is not an easy one to have, but it is critical.  What I am about to share may seem exaggerated and even fabricated.  Tragically, it is not. In the words of Susan Marine (Former Associate Dean of Student Life at Harvard University), "Sexual violence has always been part of the college experience" . We know this to be an accurate statement from studies conducted on "campus violence at our universities and colleges" which date as far back as 1987 (CNN Films, The Hunting Ground ). Before I offer you 3 Key Strategies for Protecting Our Youth Against Campus Sexual Assault, it is important to understand that the recent case at Stanford University (i...

Over the past several weeks, we have been talking about a very debilitating injury - betrayal. To gain a better understanding of betrayal and the recovering information we've covered, I encourage you to read the previous blogs before moving ahead:  Blindsided by the Betrayal Bandit? (1) Hold on...help is on the way!!  ; (2) What is behind the mask? ;  (3) Feeling "Confused, Worthless and Powerless"?  ; and (4) Free yourself from four painful traps!   Today, we will tackle our last blog in this series, but it is perhaps the most important one - understanding why injury from betrayal hurts so badly.  When we can make sense of why we are feeling incredible pain,  or when we come to learn that there are sound explanations for the debilitating  states  we find ourselves in, an inner level of comfort takes hold and our healing begins. Let's examine two features of betrayal which explain why we hurt so badly.  #1 Underlying...

With the news coverage of the secrecy and silence surrounding a plethora of sexual assault cases within a "closed system" (this time a USA gymnastics organization) , it is important to revisit steps for   Proactive Parenting in the protection of children and in the advocacy of victims. For the purposes of today's  blog, I am going to focus on Proactive Principle #2.  Visit Proactive Parenting (full blog)   for Proactive Principle #1 .  Tragically, because of on-going sexual assaults of students on our college campuses and universities, examples and statistics will be incorporated to illustrate specific concepts and principles. Proactive Parenting Principle #2    is a tough one - rarely discussed but critically important. Again, integrate it into your mindset and apply it to your parenting style. Here we go. Let's look at how we can protect our children and prevent them from being at risk in predatory, secretive, closed environments  or syst...