WellnessWithHolli

 A Wake-up Call Parents and Guardians and anyone entrusted with the care and wellbeing of our children, today’s blog is A Wake-Up Call. On the news this last week, the CDC released a report titled  Youth Risk Behavior Survey . This was a two-year survey of 9 th – 12 th graders across the country about a range of health behaviors and experiences. The results also validate trends over the past decade. The statistics are startling but not surprising. 11% of all teens reported facing sexual violence in the past year. 18% of girls and 22% of LGBTQ youth. 60% of teen girls had depressive symptoms in the past year (highest level in a decade). Suicide rates have sky-rocketed. One in three girls reported seriously considering suicide in the past year (60% rise from a decade ago). Teen girls who experienced sexual violence increased 20% between 2017 and 2021. 52% of teens experienced poor mental health in the past year. One in five had attempted suicide during that tim...

Oprah Winfrey  and  Prince Harry have produced a new series on mental health - "The Me You Can't See"  If  the words, "the me you can't see" speak to you in any way, I encourage you to watch this powerful series. If you're feeling like an imposter or unseen because you are hiding behind your hurt, the stories of shared suffering in "The Me You Can't See" will connect with you in ways which you may not have felt before.   Inspired by the series, today's blog is a personal message to you. Because of the stigma and shame around the fragility of our mental health, many of  us walk around with emotional and psychological wounds thinking it is better to pretend that nothing is wrong than to admit our lives are not working for us in the ways we have dreamed of and desired. I hope today's blog will encourage you to share your feelings and allow yourself to be seen.  Although there are many reasons why individuals don't seek help or de...

As days turn into weeks, we find ourselves facing more and more loss during the COVID-19 pandemic. Even though there are small pockets of hope in certain areas of the world or in our own communities, most families are dealing with overwhelming stress, fear, scarcity, and uncertainty. Within the confines of living in close quarters combined with the restrictions placed upon us by the recommended guidelines, we are experiencing loss in every aspect of our daily lives. It is hard on adults; it is very hard on our children and our young adults. Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19 means sharing our disappointments and despair with one another.  And, it is important for each of us to talk about  how our grief feels and how it shows up. Because, Understanding Our Grief Helps To Move Through It.   Most of us are familiar with the five stages of grief as identified by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. However, over t...

Each day when we wake up, we face a harsh reality. The COVID-19 pandemic has robbed us from what we had, redefined us from who we were, and in many cases, relinquished us to a life we have never known before.We are filled with fear and anxiety. Stress keeps mounting. With so many things out of our control, we wonder how we will ever get through this. We turn to the experts on COVID-19, and our hearts and hopes sink a bit as we absorb the forecast.This virus is teaching us as we go along, and it is a bit of guessing game, even for those who are in the know.  Although our elders may not have all the answers, it's comforting to draw strength from their experiences with suffering. Most of us have had some experience with suffering. However, not many of us have lived through the sufferings of oppression, plagues, and wars which our elders and ancestors endured. Their stories of survival can teach us about sacrifice, strength, and survival.  Ask your elders to share their sto...

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, most of us are acclimating to "resting in place" mandates or recommendations. Losses continue to be felt on every level. Financial worries are becoming hard realities. Fear, anxiety, and stress are running rampant creating havoc with our emotional well being. During this time of extreme overwhelm and upset, it is critical to embrace healthy releases. Although we are confined to our spaces, we have an accessible healing tool available to us - Soaking. When we think of the word "soak," most of think of removing something by immersing it in water for a period of time, like a stain on a shirt. For our purposes of removing overwhelm from our lives, to soak means to allow suffering to enter and pass through you . In other words, don't fight the upset. Allow it to enter. Feel it. Acknowledge it. And then, allow it to pass through you. How do we accomplish that? Before the COVID-19 crisis, I was working with a client wh...

Yesterday, for the first time as a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist, I conducted my client sessions via Teletherapy. Due to do all of the changes during the COVID-19 crisis, I had not seen or talked with my clients for nearly two weeks. Although they were experiencing a wide range of emotions, the predominant one was grief. As one of my clients wiped her eyes, she shared, "Holli, I wake up during the night and I am just so sad." Before I could speak, she apologized for her tears. I responded empathically, "It's' okay to cry. It's healing to cry."  As much as most of us are trying to stay strong - for ourselves and our loved ones - our lives have been turned upside down in a very short period of time. We are experiencing loss on every level: personally, relationally, professionally, financially, materially, and so on. Not only is there chronic present-day loss , but there is fear and anxiety of anticipated loss. We don't know how long...

The Corona Virus has launched us into unchartered waters.  We are fearful, anxious, and upset. The Corona Virus is robbing us of our normal way of life, and there is much which we cannot do. In order to help navigate this storm, let's take advantage of  5 Things We Can Do.  1) Remain Calm The yucky news is that we know we are in a horrible situation where there are many things out of our control. However, the reassuring news is we can choose how we respond to it. Utilize any of the following practices to help alleviate or reduce stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and depression. First, throughout the waking day: Pray or meditate (several times a day) Practice deep breathing (easy to do all throughout the day) Exercise or work out Give yourself permission to take a nap Embrace low impact body/mind exercises such as yoga or pilates Go outside and play or take a long walk in nature  Play all kinds of games (board, cards, and "some" video games) Create: write,...

With the holiday season upon us, it is easy to feel anxious and stressed. There is much to do and not enough time to do it in. In addition, with worries around the costs of gift-giving and travel as well as meeting family expectations, our joy begins to slip away. To add to the tension of the holidays, stores are crammed with pushy shoppers and streets are filled with impatient drivers. Gosh, no wonder with each passing day, we feel more agitated and less appreciative of the season. Let’s take a look at how we navigate a happier and healthier mindset during Holiday Turbulence. 3 Easy Practices For Staying Balanced! Breathe and Hold Suspend Beliefs Be In The Moment Let’s begin with our first practice. Breathe and Hold You’ve probably heard about the importance to taking deep breaths when dealing with stress or anxiety. However, we’re going to change it up a little.   The exercise is as follows: 1) When you feel mad, tense, anxious, irritable etc., clo...

We are having a conversation about friendships! For the purposes of this series, we are looking at healthy friendships as a necessary component of any relationship such as a best friend, a family member, a co-worker, or a life-partner. In week one, we examined the quality of being   Easy ,  and we discussed the importance of friendships being Authentic, Honest , and Trustworthy. In week two, we addressed how healthy friendships need to be  Equal   , and we focused on three essential elements: Balance, Reciprocal , and Respectful . In order to get the most out of our series, please go back and read Easy and Equal . Today, we are moving onto the third quality to consider in cultivating healthy friendships – Enriching. Are my friendships Enriching? This question might sound odd or silly! And yet, it is an important one. Because of negative portrayals of friendships such as arguing, fighting, backstabbing, bullying, cyber bullying, and other aggressiv...