WellnessWithHolli

Forgiveness is a practice that is commonly used in many aspects of our lives, and yet, I think it is one that many of us struggle with. Over the years working with clients in therapy, frequently I would hear the words, "Holli, why should I forgive him?  He doesn't deserve it!"  Or, "Why should I let her off the hook?   She destroyed my life!"  Or, "How can I forgive them? Look at the injustice that has been committed?" Or, "I know I need to forgive myself. But I can't. I don't deserve it." Although  you may have heard this before, I need you to hear what I am about to say.  This is extremely important.    Forgiveness is not about or for the other person or thing.   Forgiveness is about and for you.   Forgiveness is about and for you. As long as we hold on to our anger, resentment, bitterness, or disappointment towards other people and things or even towards ourselves, we remain tethered to them and to those toxic emotio...

Today, we will address the final mask of relapse - The Mask of Detachment .  In the two previous blogs, we discussed The Mask of Denial (a mask of self-inflicted lies) and The Mask of Disguise (a mask of the false self). We learned about the roles they play in furthering our decline into relapse. However, by developing a new awareness of them, we embraced healing strategies that will aid us in our early recognition of them and in their timely removal. Let's move on to the third mask - Detachment. The Mask of Detachment is dangerous. As I have mentioned previously, the three masks typically appear in the order that I have discussed them- Denial, Disguise, and then Detachment.   However, they can present themselves almost simultaneously or perhaps move fluidly from one to the other, depending on the relapse episode or the kind of regression into unhealthy patterns of thinking, behaving or feeling . Let's take a look at a couple of examples.  (The names and people I ...