WellnessWithHolli

We have spent the past 17 weeks discussing relapse!  Wow! Every time I have sat down to write, I think to myself, "What I have to say today about relapse is so important! I hope I choose the right words, and I hope I get the message across!" Most importantly, because of our shared suffering from relapse , I also hope these blog posts have been a positive contributor to your recovering process by imparting healing principles and tools.  And, as we bring this discussion of relapse to a close, for now, I hope you will take some time to reflect upon this final lesson - The Gifts of Relapse. It is often said,  "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again,  expecting different results." Over the past several months, we have discussed the anatomy of relapse. We named and pealed away the layers of shame and we tenderly addressed the inner core of shame; we thoroughly identified internal and external triggers and assessed their impact upon us; we confront...

Forgiveness is a practice that is commonly used in many aspects of our lives, and yet, I think it is one that many of us struggle with. Over the years working with clients in therapy, frequently I would hear the words, "Holli, why should I forgive him?  He doesn't deserve it!"  Or, "Why should I let her off the hook?   She destroyed my life!"  Or, "How can I forgive them? Look at the injustice that has been committed?" Or, "I know I need to forgive myself. But I can't. I don't deserve it." Although  you may have heard this before, I need you to hear what I am about to say.  This is extremely important.    Forgiveness is not about or for the other person or thing.   Forgiveness is about and for you.   Forgiveness is about and for you. As long as we hold on to our anger, resentment, bitterness, or disappointment towards other people and things or even towards ourselves, we remain tethered to them and to those toxic emotio...