1. I spend more face to face time with technology than with my sweetie. Yes No
2. When communicating with my sweetie-pie, I prefer to do so electronically. Yes No
3. I spend more time holding my electronic devices than I do my sweetheart. Yes No
4. When I'm with my sweetie-cakes (and I don't have my technology with me), Yes No
I am thinking about my social sites, texts, emails, etc.
5. My sweetness says I don't pay attention very well or I am no longer a Yes No
very good listener.
Total # of Yes's = _______
Before we interpret the results of the quiz, let me address the importance of communicating face to face, and why some individuals are feeling less connected to their partners even though their electronic interactions are quite frequent.
First, when we communicate face to face, we experience the feelings and emotions of our partner.
|Face to Face|
Secondly, when we communicate face to face, we look into our partners eyes. By doing so, we validate not only their voice, but we are saying that they are important. Also, when we look into another's eyes and when we are focusing on their feelings, there is an undeniable human emotion - empathy - that swells within us. And, when we are able to empathize with our partner -to tap into the core of his/her raw emotions with unconditional understanding, we feel deeply connected.
|Hold One Another|
With that said, here we go! The results: Tech-Proof Your Relationship Quiz!
# of Yes's.....
0 - Congratulations! Keep your strong connection! Your priorities are in order! Your sweetie will
appreciate you! Go out and celebrate a romantic Valentine's evening!
1 - Bravo! Keep the human connection going! You are practicing healthy balanced
communication! Enjoy a loving romantic dinner out for Valentine's Day!
2 - Well done, partner! Your close connection is strong but check in with your sweetie. Create
more balance into your communications - strive for more face to face time. For Valentine's,
plan a romantic evening out with no technology!
3 - Time for a more romantic agenda! Your sweetie needs more face to face time and needs
your attention. Create time each day to communicate without technology. Meal time is a great
place to start! Include the entire family in this! Then, plan a romantic weekend away or at
home, with no technology! Practice active and reflective listening. Make this Valentine's Day a
time of love and connection.
4 - Your Valentine's heart may be hurting! Take immediate action! Reset priorities and re-
establish your face to face connection. Work towards a plan of communication balance in your
relationship. Find out what each one of you needs and how to achieve that. For an immediate
intervention, plan a week with reduced usage at home: start with meal times and after dinner.
And, plan one weekend a month either away or at home with no technology! During these tech-
free times, practice active and reflective listening. For Valentine's Day, plan a romantic evening
with no technology! Look into each other's eyes - talk - listen - and reconnect. You won't regret
5 - Recapture the romance before its too late!
On a lighter note - Consider auditioning for the sequel to "Her".
On a serious note, put down your technology and talk to your sweetie! Implement the following
interventions! Reassess your priorities and establish a plan for creating balance in your
communication. Begin by designating times throughout the day when there is no technology use
(when you are together): meal times, in the car, after dinner, two hours before bedtime, etc. Plan
tech-free weekends once a month and schedule weekly date-nights with no technology. Most
importantly, with your tech-free time together, practice active and reflective listening. This
Valentine's Day, make it tech-free! Make it romantic! Feel the connection come alive!
I've tried to make this fun and I do hope it was received that way! At the same time, I know that change is hard. I know that my husband and I have to work at this as well. And, I also know that our relationship benefits from doing so! One of the things that I love about my husband so much is that when I need him to listen, he puts away all technology, turns and faces me, and looks me directly in the eyes. It melts my heart....
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