Sunday, April 28, 2013

Let's Talk About Relapse! Day 2 -"Shame"

Today...let's just zero in on the topic of shame.   Let's get it out in the open!  Let's talk about what it does to us.
  • It keeps us stuck. We don't feel there is any way out.  We give up before we have even started.  
  • It keeps us shut down.  We keep playing those 'negative tapes' in our heads convincing ourselves that we are nothing, losers, no good.
  • It robs us of all the good parts of ourselves.  We 'become' the shame.  We forget that we are more than 'it'. 
  • It suffocates us!  We can't even begin to take in any kind of healthy flow because we continue to breathe in toxic air!  

So what is actually going on with us?  What is shame all about?  Think about this:
  • S  -   Self
  • H  -   Hatred
  • A  -   And
  • M  -  Malignant
  • E   -  Embarrassment

Yes, we made bad choices. We betrayed ourselves by choosing the wrong people, places, and things.  Yes, we put ourselves in harm's way.  We blew it!  We let go of the things that helped and healed us! We own what has happened!  And, we hate ourselves for doing so. And, the malignant embarrassment of it all - of letting ourselves down, of disappointing others...again- eats away at our core.

Shame smothers us and it prevents us from even beginning to move forward. We have to start somewhere.  The longer we hold ourselves hostage to the shame, the more we betray ourselves. We are going to start getting out from underneath it.  We will begin with this thought:

The shame that I am feeling right now is going to provide me with  the exact nutrients that I need to grow again.

Homework:  Ponder that thought.  Journal about it.  Meditate on it.  Start replacing that toxic thinking with this mindset of hope and of healing.  Do this now. Go slowly.  Breathe in this truth.  Keep going.  

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