|Peeling Away The Bark (and the Shame) - Chapter 7|
Today, we are going to tread into some tender territory. So, be prepared that what I say may feel uncomfortable or unsettling. You may find yourself feeling angry, or you may not understand your level of emotional reactivity. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself - except of course, do not return to an unhealthy behavior.
I believe that many of us have deeply embedded injuries or injustices within our inner being which have not been tended to and thus become triggers for relapse. We may have some level of awareness of them; we may have strong denial forces around them; or we may have no conscious memory of them at all. However, if we have not worked through these injuries in healing ways, I believe we carry around with us an 'inner core of shame'. It might present itself in subtle ways such as being insecure, as having low self-esteem, or as being an introvert or shy; on the other hand, it may present itself more boldly. Such indications may be a history of unhealthy relationships,a pattern of irresponsible or abusive behaviors, or individuals may struggle inter personally and socially with narcissistic, borderline, or histrionic personalities. The range of personal struggle with its damaging consequences, all in an effort to mitigate the core of shame and lessen the pain within, is vast.
It is my personal as well as my professional belief that with professional counseling or therapy and if an individual is in a place of readiness, that it is imperative to root our the core of shame that dwells within. I believe that without doing so, we allow our betrayers (whoever and whatever they may be) to win out...and to continue to erode our spirit and soul. I believe we hold our healing hostage to them.
|Bark Beetles Digging Deep Within The Core of the Tree - Chapter 6|