WellnessWithHolli

Millions of individuals are celebrating Mother's Day with yummy BBQ's, exquisite brunches, specialty restaurant dining,lovely cards, thoughtful gifts,and bouquets of flowers.However, there are countless others who struggle to get through this difficult day.    It is something we don't often talk about, we are afraid to admit, and we suffer silently wishing the day would pass quickly.  ~ Quiet Suffering ~ Release your pain and its hold on you. There are no words that adequately describe the pain of a mother who abandons or rejects her children, who neglects or abuses or harms them in any way, or who violates their trust, love, and need for her. And it is extremely injurious for others whose mothers did not protect them from outside injustices or provide safety from familial betrayals. For those of you who are suffering today, I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that you have every right to feel angry, sad, and bitter. I want y...

It was last summer, but I remember as if it were yesterday, The image forever etched upon my soul. A family gathered together sharing b arbeque with close friends, No technology to fill the space - only conversation and eager ears. With plates of lean steak, bowls of salads, and baskets of breads passed among us, The young adults home from college filled their bellies and we ours. Dad bantered with his grown children and laughter sprinkled over the table, No technology to distract attention - eyes on the speaker and minds present. The flow of food and drink continued for hours and yet it flew by, Family stories told from years past and we too told our own. Mom's nurturing spirit brought warmth to more delicate conversation, No technology to interrupt the flow of empathy - each person available for the other. Stomach beckoned for a pause, but soon deserts galore arrived, And a calm settled in as the sun started to disappear . Plans, dreams, and hopes were explored ...

Every day there seem to be more and more victims from random acts of cruelty. And the frightening part is that these horrifically insensitive betrayals are not coming from our stereotypical pathological criminals, but from our children's classmates, our next door neighbors, our peers, and our co-workers. What is happening that is causing such a rampant and viral case of hardened hearts? Although there are probably all kinds of studies and research done on answering such a complex question, it boils down to the sad realization, I believe, that we have become desensitized by the anonymity of technology. Because we can hide behind a computer, or hold an IPhone in the palm of our hands, or capture pictures in the secrecy of our hidden position, we have easily taken on the role of perpetual perpetrator . Too many of us don't think twice about the harm and damage we are spreading when we email, post, twitter, blog, etc. a cruel message, photo, or image of another human being. We do i...

Each one of us experiences tragedy, trails and tribulations. It is part of life. Thanks to the advancements in mental health care and to the acceptance and support of society to advocate for a myriad of recovery programs or processes, we tend to give ourselves permission to take the time we need to heal. This is good. At the same time, there is a tendency to remain in that needy state far too long and it takes its toll on us as well as on family, friends, and other acquaintances. In order to embrace fully our potential for wellness, we must also comes to terms with the idea that there is a season for being self-consumed. When we are are suffering, hurting, or enduring the most painful and chronic situations, it is absolutely necessary to put our focus inward. Our energy, time, and resources must go towards putting forth every effort possible to address and alleviate our physiological and well as psychological symptoms, manifestations, or disorders. And although there is no time-table ...

There is an irony about the holidays that many of us find difficult to acknowledge. After all, this is a joyous time; it is not an occasion for allowing one's past or present emotional scars to resurface or to reopen. So, many of us smooth on a heavy layer of denial salve or repress the wounds with strongly bound emotional bandages. And for the few of us who are willing to let the voices dancing around in our heads about the discomfort and anxiety of the holidays come through, it is still an emotional tug-of-war about whether or not to talk about it to anyone. Let's get it out in the open once and for all. There is absolutely nothing wrong in admitting "holidays can hurt." During the holiday season, many of us find that we are required to be somebody that we really do not want to be or cannot be . Because of social expectations, family traditions, or societal norms, we put on a false persona, or a front. When we do this, we negate our real selves (our authentic selve...

Jake sits perched upon a large mound of smooth rocks, separated and detached from family members who gather in a half circle on the level dirt mountain ridge below him. Although Jake is a strong man in his late sixties, looking up at him now he appears to be withered, worn, and weakened by his own betrayals in life. As he awaits the commencement of his father's memorial gathering, he readies himself to strike. Before the scattering of the ashes, family members step forward to share personal stories and meaningful memories of a father, a grandfather, and a great-grandfather. Suddenly, the warmth and comfort of the moment is shattered by the piercing squawk from up above. A constant flow of venomous verbiage floods the open space silencing the words of praise and promise. An eruption of years filled with resentment, bitterness, and blame flame the air and filter through the massive shrubs that surround the family. Everyone is stunned. There is no weapon strong enough to stand up agai...

Meredith was regretting her upcoming birthday. It was a day that signaled all that was still left undone and all the she had yet to accomplish. Most significantly, it would be a reminder that it was the start of another year without a partner, someone with whom she deeply desired to share her life. And there really was no one else to blame for that, just herself. With the economy taking a downward fall, Meredith has immersed herself into her work. She took on extra jobs and clients in order to pay bills, to make up for the loss in her 401K, and still to set a savings aside for emergencies and such. Not the work, nor the bills, nor the continual bad news would slow the arrival of her dreaded day - her 60th birthday. Meredith arranged to take a few days off to visit one of her sisters. After a hectic week at work, she flew to the serene mountain surroundings of family who loved her dearly. Time with them would ease the momentous occasion and all that it signified. Meredith cherished the ...