Showing posts from March, 2020

Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19: It's Healing To Cry

Yesterday, for the first time as a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist, I conducted my client sessions via Teletherapy. Due to do all of the changes during the COVID-19 crisis, I had not seen or talked with my clients for nearly two weeks. Although they were experiencing a wide range of emotions, the predominant one was grief. As one of my clients wiped her eyes, she shared, "Holli, I wake up during the night and I am just so sad." Before I could speak, she apologized for her tears. I responded empathically, "It's' okay to cry. It's healing to cry."  As much as most of us are trying to stay strong - for ourselves and our loved ones - our lives have been turned upside down in a very short period of time. We are experiencing loss on every level: personally, relationally, professionally, financially, materially, and so on. Not only is there chronic present-day loss , but there is fear and anxiety of anticipated loss. We don't know how long

Public Shaming - Part Two: Two Restorative Responses

We are discussing shaming. More specifically, we are exploring Public Shaming . In  Public Shaming - Part One: Two Costly Casualties , we examined  how the viral nature of Public Shaming is harming Our Children and Our Human Condition.  If you have not already read Part One, please do so before joining us for Public Shaming Part Two: Two Restorative Responses. Although Public Shaming has caused and continues to cause a great deal of injury and pain, we have it in our power to eradicate this toxic behavior. However, it requires that each of us decides whether we want to be part of the ongoing problem or if we want to partake in its solution. It's as simple as that. If you are ready to commit, let's get started with Part Two. 2 Restorative Responses To Public Shaming: A Position of Restraint and A Posture of Unconditional Regard A Position of Restraint Whether you have been shaming others publicly or not, we are going to make a commitment right now to adopt A Positi

Corona Virus: 5 Things We Can Do

The Corona Virus has launched us into unchartered waters.  We are fearful, anxious, and upset. The Corona Virus is robbing us of our normal way of life, and there is much which we cannot do. In order to help navigate this storm, let's take advantage of  5 Things We Can Do.  1) Remain Calm The yucky news is that we know we are in a horrible situation where there are many things out of our control. However, the reassuring news is we can choose how we respond to it. Utilize any of the following practices to help alleviate or reduce stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and depression. First, throughout the waking day: Pray or meditate (several times a day) Practice deep breathing (easy to do all throughout the day) Exercise or work out Give yourself permission to take a nap Embrace low impact body/mind exercises such as yoga or pilates Go outside and play or take a long walk in nature  Play all kinds of games (board, cards, and "some" video games) Create: write, sing

Public Shaming - Part One: Two Costly Casualties

Shaming. It has been around for a very long time. It has been in our homes, our schools, our places of work, and in just about every environment which tolerates it and even those which try desperately to tackle it. For over a decade, shaming has taken on a life of its own through social networking sites and through electronic forms of communication. Shaming has gone viral.  Tragically, Public Shaming has become a normative behavior . Although we have known about two of the most common motivations for Public Shaming - to instill fear and to incite division among individuals - we are reluctant to speak honestly about the most deeply consequential effects of Public Shaming.  Today's post will do so as we address Two Costly Casualties.   And in Part Two, we will offer some considerations for it's elimination as we explore  Two Restorative Responses . 2 Costly Casualties of Public Shaming: Our Children and Our Human Condition Our Children Children learn from their environm