WellnessWithHolli

Week Four - Self-Shaming: Its Impact On Us For the past several weeks, we have been discussing “Self-Shaming.” In week one, "Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding,"  we explored our Self-Shaming life-messages – the internal dialogue we say to ourselves about our lack of worth and value.   In week two, "Self-Shaming: External Causes,"   we learned that the genesis of many of our Self-Shaming life-messages comes from Primary Care-Givers, Environments of Betrayal, and Social Media. However, in week three, "Self-Shaming: Internal Causes,"   we also learned that Self-Shaming life-messages evolve from Our Beliefs, Our Choices, and Our Unworthy Attachments. We acknowledged that there can be cross-over with any of the areas of causation. In order to get the most from this series, please read each of the articles   and implement the Reflective Exercises at the end of each one. Then, join us here for “Self-Shaming: Its Impact On Us.” Let’s beg

Week Three: Self-Shaming: Internal Causes Thus far in our series on Self-Shaming, we have discussed  "Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding"  and  "Self-Shaming: External Causes .“ In order to get the most from this series, you are invited to read weeks one and two, and then join us here for week three, “Self-Shaming: Internal Causes.” To refresh our understanding of Self-Shaming, we have defined it as the following: Self-Shaming is the cognitive and behavioral practice of self-devaluation which manifests as the result of feeling shame or being shamed by someone or something. In our discussion, we have focused on our Self-Shaming life-messages - the internal dialogue we say to ourselves about our lack of worth and value. Although the genesis of many of our “Self-Shaming” life messages comes from “External Causes” – Primary Care-Givers, Environments of Betrayal, and Social Media – it is important to examine internal causation as well.   Whil

Week Two - Self-Shaming: External Causes In week one of our series, we examined,  " Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding," We learned that Self-Shaming is the cognitive and behavioral practice of self-devaluation which manifests as the result of feeling shame or being shamed by someone or something. Although there are other manifestations of Self-Shaming behavior, we focused on the intrusive presence of our self-deprecating life-messages which fuel and feed our feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. We also discussed how Self-Shaming thrives in secrecy and silence, as individuals are fearful of disclosing their true feelings for risk of being further blamed and judged. As we move into week two, “Self-Shaming: External Causes," this is important.   Given any sensitive or tender topic such as Self-Shaming, it is often difficult to examine sources of our pain. It requires that we remain open, as we courageously face the truths around people, place

Week One - Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding Healing Begins By Increasing Our Understanding Shame.   Just the sound of the word is heavy.   Shame .   It is laden with debilitating emotions which cause most individuals to recoil at its emergence into our lives.   Renowned researcher and author  Dr. Brene' Brown   has courageously tackled the topic of shame and brought it into the comforting light of conversation. Dr. Brown defines shame as the following: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” (blog, 2013/01/14) In examining the definition of shame more closely, it is important to focus on Dr. Brown's  words: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy...” When individuals internalize the belief that they are flawed and unwor