WellnessWithHolli

Week Four - Self-Shaming: Its Impact On Us For the past several weeks, we have been discussing “Self-Shaming.” In week one, "Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding,"  we explored our Self-Shaming life-messages – the internal dialogue we say to ourselves about our lack of worth and value.   In week two, "Self-Shaming: External Causes,"   we learned that the genesis of many of our Self-Shaming life-messages comes from Primary Care-Givers, Environments of Betrayal, and Social Media. However, in week three, "Self-Shaming: Internal Causes,"   we also learned that Self-Shaming life-messages evolve from Our Beliefs, Our Choices, and Our Unworthy Attachments. We acknowledged that there can be cross-over with any of the areas of causation. In order to get the most from this series, please read each of the articles   and implement the Reflective Exercises at the end of each one. Then, join us here for “Self-Shaming: Its Impact On Us.” Let’s beg...

As the holiday celebrations continue over this month and into the next, let's remind ourselves about the two most common celebration saboteurs - our expectations and our losses. Although expectations are a natural part of who we are and are an outgrowth of the norms of families, if we cling on to them too tightly, they can cause us to be uncompromising and unforgiving. Also, because of past unhealthy experiences within families, unrealistic expectations can lead to more disappointment, hurt, and further complicate family dynamics.   This all causes stress! Honor our losses in healing ways. Secondly, whether memories surface of loved ones who have passed and whose presence is missed deeply, or there are reminders of relationships which remain unrepaired, or the emergence of personal or inner personal wounds are re-opened because of the triggers that accompany family gatherings, the profound and poignant presence of loss creates a stress that is deeply entwined i...

As the holidays are approaching, I am hearing the sounds of stress all around me!  This week on W4CY Radio , I will be discussing "Got Holiday Stress? Readjust, Release and Rejoice!"  But, for now, I wanted to share a true story about expectations - or what I call celebration saboteurs!  Great Expectations? After hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my family and my sister’s family for a dozen or so years, both families decided that we needed to make some changes. Our kids were in college and it was becoming harder and harder for everyone to get to one place. In 2001, my husband and I did not host Thanksgiving dinner; instead, we were invited to my husband's niece's home with all of her  family. We were excited to see everyone and it was not too far of a drive, only about an hour away. After inquiring about the number of people and the time of dinner, I asked how we could contribute. We were asked to bring a ham.  When my husband and I arriv...