WellnessWithHolli

* This blog contains sensitive material which may not be suitable for minors. With the news coverage of the  secrecy and silence surrounding an international pandemic of sexual assault cases within a "faith-based closed system ," it is important to revisit steps for Proactive Parenting  in the protection of children and in the advocacy of victims. For the purposes of today's  blog, I am going to focus on  Proactive Principle #2.  Visit  Proactive Parenting   for  Proactive Principle #1 .  Tragically, because of on-going sexual assaults of students on our college campuses and universities, examples and statistics will be incorporated to illustrate specific concepts and principles. However, these concepts and principles apply to all "closed systems" where secrecy and silence protect environments of sexual assault.  Proactive Parenting Principle #2    is a tough one - rarely discussed but critically important. Again, in...

*  Please note - this blog contains sensitive material. Suggested for mature audiences. In our previous blog Energy Zapper #5: Shame! Taking Shame Out Of Its Shadows!  ,we discussed the unique anatomy of shame and its three sources of causation – betrayal by someone, betrayal of someone, and betrayal of self. To get the most out of today’s blog, please go back and take a read. And then get ready to move on to part two:  Shame! 3 Healing Rays for Re-Emergence!    As we move out of the shadows of shame, let’s remind ourselves of what shame is through this acronym. S = Self H = Hatred A = And M = Malignant E = Embarrassment Read it again ~   Self -Hatred And Malignant Embarrassment ~ It’s a heavy emotion. It’s dark and debilitating. And, left unattended, it smothers one’s body, mind and spirit. How then, do we begin to re-emerge from shame?As we start, read and ponder this healing acronym. S = Shared H = Healing A = An...

We have been discussing Energy Zappers! What are they? For the most part, they are habits or social behaviors which are a part of our everyday life, but unfortunately do very little to enhance our sense of well-being. Why? Because they deplete us!  If you haven’t had a chance to read them, go back and review   #1 - Giving Advice ,  #2 - Drama  , #3- Worry ,  #4 -Negativity .You might find them helpful in keeping yourself energized! Today, we are going to take a bit of a departure and talk about a zapper that really isn’t a habit or social behavior – it is an emotion. However, because of the silence, secrecy, and stigma around this emotion – it often goes unattended and unaddressed – eroding the core of our beings. What is  Energy Zapper #5?   It is...  Shame . And because of the complexity of shame –its anatomy, its sources of causation, and its unique healing considerations – we will spend two blogs on this zapper! Self- Hatred Ove...

Tragically, over the years we have heard about horrific cases of abuse, trauma, bullying and other acts of violence. Typically, these inhumane injustices are carried out within familial systems or are random crimes committed by disturbed perpetrators. However, in my lifetime and over the past several decades, we are hearing more and more about assault and abuse cases within professional organizations, as well as social, political, and spiritual institutions where the culture of bullying and of extreme cases of abusive conduct have not only been cultivated and condoned, but they have been concealed by the very leaders and/or members who serve within them. It is within these Environments of Betrayal, that victims are frequently blamed for the aggressive acts imposed upon them, they are seen as being 'less than or cowardly' for not being able to endure the culture of violence, and their personal and professional lives are in jeopardy for speaking out against the very organizat...

Domestic Violence is one of the themes of Awareness for this month . Sometimes, I feel like it is an issue that doesn't get the attention it deserves. Of course, October has other important causes - such as Anti-Bullying and Breast Cancer Awareness - but I also think that it is an issue that we are uncomfortable discussing. It often isn't until an individual has lost her/his life because of it or until a high-profile celebrity makes the headlines because of a domestic violent incident that it captures our attention. Even though these tragic stories grab our interest for a short period of time, I Shame, Secrecy and Stigma believe it is hard to look deeper into the topic of Domestic Violence because although we have made strides in its awareness due to the ongoing work of countless individuals and organizations, Domestic Violence remains an issue that is shrouded in shame, secrecy and stigma. Why does this continue to be the case? First of all, there are many long-held m...