"Hope Springs" Offers Hope For All Couples!

-
Last week, my husband and I saw an entertaining movie - "Hope Springs".  Before the movie started and as the people were pouring in, I noticed that the auditorium was filled with silver-haired bobs and shiny bald scalps.  Yes, the average age was probably mid to late seventies.  Soon, the lights dimmed, the music started, and the Seniors began soaking up the wonderful acting performances of Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep. What surprised me is that this movie has a strong message, not just for the those in their Golden Years, but for every couple!

Throughout the movie, there were bursts of laughter and yet there were moments when I saw several audience members take out a Kleenex and catch a tear or two. There were uneasy scenes when couples in the audience pulled apart from one another (just as the characters did in the movie) and there were times when partners snuggled closer together, again mirroring the emotion displayed on the screen. As the movie continued, the  messages of a marriage gone stale, of a wife feeling alone and lonely, of a husband content with routine and sports slowly eked out as they main characters seek help from a therapist. But the one message that rang out loud and clear and the one I hope everyone got is that all couples, even those who are younger or not married very long, often fall into the trap of not seeing one another!

Yes, they no longer see one another!  I understand - life does become routine, there are children to care for and to run and here and there, jobs are demanding, and the responsibilities of day to day living are overwhelming, especially during these difficult economic times! And then, technology (with all its wonders) has disconnected us even more as we spend less face to face time together.  However, there is hope!  Here are some easy wellness tips for couples to implement, now!

  • Once a week, put the kids to bed early, turn off all technology, and sit face to face for one hour. Talk to each other.  Listen to each other.  Hold each other. Really look at each other.  Tell one another what you love, respect, and appreciate about each other. 
  • Once a week, set aside a "date night."  I know you've all heard this before.  Don't poo poo this! The first week, one partner plans it.  Then next week, the other partner plans it. Here's the kicker- plan a date night that you know your partner will love!  Make it about him or her -not you!
  • During the week days, leave little love notes for one another, make an unexpected call or visit to each other's place of work just to say "hi" or to give a hug, plan a lunch together, or do a chore or job for your partner without being asked!   
Start with these three tips.  If we really see each other, we will want to please other. And, hope will spring eternal!


    

Comments

  1. Ernest DempseyAugust 24, 2012 at 1:55 AM

    Great blog! For me, Meryl Streep is a "yes!" but TLJ.. well, maybe some other time.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Educated" Reminds Us, Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost. Speak It Anyway.

-
Image
Recently, I finished reading  Tara Westover's powerful memoir, "Educated."  This blog is neither a review of her work or a critique of its content. It is about its offerings. I think one of the extraordinary gifts of "Educated" is Ms. Westover's willingness to share her story with raw and rarely revealed levels of vulnerability. I was completely taken by this book. Why?  Because "Educated" Reminds Us, Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost. And, Tara Westover, chose to Speak It Anyway . Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost Folks often question why victims don't speak up or why they don't speak up sooner about their abuse. Although there are many reasons for not doing so and individual circumstances vary greatly,   Tara Westover's memoir courageously unveils the costs of speaking truth about abuse and bravely unearths their painful consequences.  Let's explore three areas of cost: Being Shamed Being Shattered Bein
Read more

Inside "The Glass Castle," Parents Betray Their Children

-
Image
"The Glass Castle" is a film based on the best-selling memoir by Jeanette Walls.  It is painful and powerful. It is heartwarming and heartbreaking. Jeanette Walls, despite being raised in a chaotic and negligent environment, broke free from the bonds of family dysfunction and built a life for herself as an accomplished journalist. Today's blog is not a review of the movie nor is it a commentary on how Jeanette's story has touched the hearts and souls of its readers and viewers. After seeing the movie, although I was moved by Jeanette's triumph over tragedy, I was reminded that it came at a cost. The message which resonated for me was... Inside "The Glass Castle," Parents Betray Their Children  Over the past ten years, I have written and spoken about "betrayal." It is a topic I am comfortable with and passionate about. When we think of "betrayal," our minds typically turn to issues of infidelity or other relationships in which
Read more

Forgiveness Does Not Heal Betrayal: Here's Why

-
Image
Recently I gave a TED Talk - BETRAYAL: The Loss No One Is Talking About . At the beginning of  the talk I asked the audience two questions: "If you have ever felt betrayed, have you been told to give it time, to trust again, or to forgive? And if you tried any of those things, have you felt better....or bitter?" With over ten thousand hours in session as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working with clients healing from betrayal, I've heard from hundreds of individuals who have wondered why they still are stuck in the pain of their betrayal injury, even after they have forgiven their betrayer/s.  Based on years of researching and analyzing betrayal and on my professional experience, I believe Forgiveness Does Not Heal Betrayal. Here's Why. Healing From Betrayal - Concept #1 Practicing forgiveness may release the hold the betrayer has on you. But it does not heal the betrayal wound. I want to acknowledge that practicing forgiveness holds deep meaning in
Read more