Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19: It's Healing To Cry

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Yesterday, for the first time as a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist, I conducted my client sessions via Teletherapy. Due to do all of the changes during the COVID-19 crisis, I had not seen or talked with my clients for nearly two weeks. Although they were experiencing a wide range of emotions, the predominant one was grief. As one of my clients wiped her eyes, she shared, "Holli, I wake up during the night and I am just so sad." Before I could speak, she apologized for her tears. I responded empathically, "It's' okay to cry. It's healing to cry." 
As much as most of us are trying to stay strong - for ourselves and our loved ones - our lives have been turned upside down in a very short period of time. We are experiencing loss on every level: personally, relationally, professionally, financially, materially, and so on. Not only is there chronic present-day loss, but there is fear and anxiety of anticipated loss. We don't know how long this will go on, and we don't know what additional sacrifices we will be required to make. As the days go by, grief builds up inside of us. It needs a release. 

William Shakespeare wrote, "To weep is to make less the depth of grief." Our bodies and our minds require healthy outlets for our sorrow. Although it is helpful to take long walks, sit out in the sun, read a good book, or journal about our grief, when we feel sadness overtaking us...let it out. Allow the tears to flow freely and fully. As tears surge and then soften, feel your body slow and your mind settle. Let your tears run their course. As eyes swell and tears subside, allow the tiredness from their release to calm and comfort you. Be still. Remain so. In the quiet of the moment, honor yourself for the strength you have shown and for allowing yourself to be human. 

This morning, for the first time since the crisis hit the United States, I woke up feeling very sad. As I thought about my clients who are fearful, stressed, and experiencing tremendous loss, I cried. When I started to explain my sadness to my husband, I cried again. All of  the losses, incurred throughout the world over the past several weeks, washed over me like a wave. I didn't fight the tears. I let them come. Afterwards, a peaceful sense of renewal replaced the pain. I encourage you to do the same.


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