WellnessWithHolli

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to wreak havoc with every aspect our lives, the grief we are experiencing is beginning to subside. Confusion, denial, shock and sadness are being replaced by more confusion, anger, and feelings of complete and total powerlessness. This is important. It never has been nor will it ever be the intent of this blog to advance any political agenda. This blog is about our mental health. Therefore, it will suffice to say that as COVID-19 is ravaging people's lives, folks are feeling betrayed, for all different kinds of reasons and from a plethora of sources.  What is important in staying mentally well during COVID-19 is for individuals to understand that when we are betrayed, we enter into a state of powerlessness . Why? Because we are prisoners of circumstances we did not create, and we are held hostage to the decisions of others. What is so frightening about this state of powerlessness is at one moment we may feel very vulnerable and weak. At oth...

Week Two - Self-Shaming: External Causes In week one of our series, we examined,  " Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding," We learned that Self-Shaming is the cognitive and behavioral practice of self-devaluation which manifests as the result of feeling shame or being shamed by someone or something. Although there are other manifestations of Self-Shaming behavior, we focused on the intrusive presence of our self-deprecating life-messages which fuel and feed our feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. We also discussed how Self-Shaming thrives in secrecy and silence, as individuals are fearful of disclosing their true feelings for risk of being further blamed and judged. As we move into week two, “Self-Shaming: External Causes," this is important.   Given any sensitive or tender topic such as Self-Shaming, it is often difficult to examine sources of our pain. It requires that we remain open, as we courageously face the truths around people, place...

After posting a   three-part series on  Healthy Friendships and receiving positive feedback, I’m returning to the same format but this time exploring Healthy Families. There is much to be said on this topic; in fact, there are hundreds of books with tons of valuable information.   However, for our purposes we will focus on three aspects of Healthy Families: Part One: Is Mine Free of Entanglements? Part Two: Is Mine Flexible? Part Three: Is Mine For-Giving? As we get started, I’d like to share an important concept. As a Marriage & Family Therapist, when working with families I view them as a sort of working machine, based on the theory of Family Systems. In other words, a family is   made up of many moving parts (individuals). How well each part functions determines the level of functionality of the machine as a whole, much like that of a vehicle. Therefore, in addressing Healthy Families, I’d like you to think about your family as an intricate and ...