Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19: Feeling Betrayed? Feeling Powerless? What Next?

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to wreak havoc with every aspect our lives, the grief we are experiencing is beginning to subside. Confusion, denial, shock and sadness are being replaced by more confusion, anger, and feelings of complete and total powerlessness. This is important. It never has been nor will it ever be the intent of this blog to advance any political agenda. This blog is about our mental health. Therefore, it will suffice to say that as COVID-19 is ravaging people's lives, folks are feeling betrayed, for all different kinds of reasons and from a plethora of sources. 



What is important in staying mentally well during COVID-19 is for individuals to understand that when we are betrayed, we enter into a state of powerlessness. Why? Because we are prisoners of circumstances we did not create, and we are held hostage to the decisions of others. What is so frightening about this state of powerlessness is at one moment we may feel very vulnerable and weak. At other times, we feel extremely volatile and rage-filled. It's crazy-making as we volley back and forth between these conflicting, disturbing emotions. How then do we move forward? What do we do next?


What I am about to say will not change your circumstances. However, it will change how you manage your mindset moving forward. First, with everything else out of our control, we do have the power to choose how we want to respond. Do not fall victim to your feelings of weakness or rage. If they come up, acknowledge them, feel them briefly, and let them go. The longer you hold on to negative emotions, the longer they will hold onto you. These toxic emotions will make you sick. And remember, staying mentally well is also about your family members and loved ones. They need you to be well.



Secondly, focus on the things in your life that you do have control over. It may not be much, I know. But it's important you begin to feel empowered, even in small ways. Sit down with family members and loved one. Make a list of the things you can control, given your circumstances and the safety guidelines in your community. Recently, one of my clients who is a bit of a control freak (as she calls herself) shared with me, "Holli, everything is a mess and completely out of my control. I'm so stressed and filled with anxiety. Bills are mounting. My husband and I don't know if we will have jobs to go back to. But, we have our little girl, and I am choosing every day to be a good mom."  Wiping a  few tears away she spoke softly, "Although some days are harder than others, I know that every day it is up to me to be an example for her." 

Lastly, although there are no certainties around COVID and its longevity, we can learn from past betrayal experiences and claim these timeless truths.
 Being powerless is not a permanent placement. 
It is a state we enter into, go through, and in time, we will move beyond it. 
How well we do so is on each of us. 

Believe and Be Well
More posts in this series:
It's Healing To Cry
It's Soothing To Soak
It's Comforting To Draw Strength From Our Elders
Understanding Our Grief Helps Us To Move Through It
Avoid Comparing Your Losses and Carrying Around Guilt



 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Forgiveness Does Not Heal Betrayal: Here's Why

"Educated" Reminds Us, Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost. Speak It Anyway.

Inside "The Glass Castle," Parents Betray Their Children