WellnessWithHolli

How Courage Opened the Door to JOY Introduction Have you ever wanted to make a change in your life?  Have you ever said you were going to change and then nothing ever happened?  Have you wondered what might be holding you back? As I share my insights in today’s blog, I hope you will discover as I did that although change is never easy, its genesis lies within us -  COURAGE                   Background Almost two years ago, a deeply beloved member of our family suddenly passed away. I have experienced other losses in my life. But this one magnified the fragility of life and its stark brevity.  As I moved through my grief, I made a promise to myself – I was intentionally going to seek out JOY.  In order to do that, it would require Courage.  Courage to change. Courage to be vulnerable.    Courage to Change All of my adult life I have dedicated myself to helping others, first as teacher and then as a...

  The Humpty Dumpty Puzzle: How to live a healthy life while being a part of an unhealthy family Introduction When I was a little girl, I remember listening to a strange little nursery rhyme – Humpty Dumpty.  Although it was one of many popular nursery rhymes of my childhood, it was sad and odd.  It goes like this: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall  Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King’s horseman and all the King’s men Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again Background  In my adolescent, teen, and young adult years, I knew my family of origin was not healthy. There was alcoholism, emotional abuse, anger, and fractured relationships. It wasn’t until I embraced my recovery in my 30’s that I realized the depth of my family’s brokenness. I moved away from my family of origin and although I loved them, I - along with my husband and daughter - created a new, healthy way of being and I lived my life apart from them – physically and emotionally.  My life conti...

  Resolutions are statements about whether to do or not to do something.  We make them, especially as we enter into a new year, hoping they will encourage us to make shifts and changes in our quality of living. The problem is that when it comes time to implement them, most folks become easily discouraged, give up, and abandon them as quickly as they were made.  Unfortunately, after our good intentions have failed once again, we feel embarrassed. We feel regret.. and lots of it. Although there are books written on this topic, we're going to keep it simple. Let's take a look at  Three Tips For Putting Your New Year's Resolutions To Work!   Tip One: Start with realistic specific goals. One reason resolutions don't work is because folks avoid addressing "roadblocks." As you begin thinking about the changes or shifts you want to make, be honest with yourself about your current reality. What obstacles do you face?   What is your weekly schedule demanding of ...

Last time, we started a discussion on codependency. We learned the following:  Codependency is when we over-invest into someone - all in an attempt to rescue, control, or to change that person and his/her behavior.  We also acknowledged that with most relationships, there is a natural give and take , and there are often circumstances or crises where one individual must move into a care-taking role for a period of time or for extended periods of time. However, when one person continues to forfeit his/her well-being, identity, and worth at the expense of another's lack of responsibility for their own well-being - this is codependency.    Today, we want to answer two questions - Am I Codependent and Why? Drained and Depleted I think we would all agree that it is good to be a caring, giving, and compassionate individual.  However, when we find that we are repeating a pattern of behavior that leaves us depleted and drained, we typically have crossed the line ...

This week, I was going to write about Relapse and Codependency as it applies to partners in a relationship .  However, because it is a complicated topic, I thought it  might be helpful to do a series of blogs on it and have a more in-depth conversation! There is a ton of really good information on codependency which I will reference in our discussion, but I want to give you some basic principles that I believe will  help you to understand codependency and will assist you if you are a codependent person and/or are in a codependent relationship with someone.  Let's get started! First, what is codependency? When we love or care about someone, we invest ourselves and our resources into that person. This is natural. How do we know when this becomes unhealthy? This is important. Let's take a look at this explanation of codependency. Over- Investment Codependency is when we over-invest into someone. Read that again.  Codependency is when we over-invest into s...