WellnessWithHolli

Entering into our eighth month of the COVID-19 pandemic, the world is suffering. In the United States, we are not only fighting the virus, but we are also fighting one another. Our battle has played out in all aspects of our lives, dividing us even further. This is not a blog about who is right and who is wrong. This blog is drawing attention to how our current state of divisiveness is affecting a rather  invisible but remarkably integral part of our population - empaths.  Empaths are individuals who feel deeply.  They are highly sensitive to the feelings of others, especially those who need healing. Empaths connect easily with nature and are extremely aware of their surroundings. Although empaths enjoy solitude, strangers open up to them and others feel calmer in their presence. Empaths feel all pain, all around them. Thus, navigating an environment which has grown increasing angry, chaotic, and intolerant is extremely challenging for empaths . However, they do not resp...

We are discussing shaming. More specifically, we are exploring Public Shaming . In  Public Shaming - Part One: Two Costly Casualties , we examined  how the viral nature of Public Shaming is harming Our Children and Our Human Condition.  If you have not already read Part One, please do so before joining us for Public Shaming Part Two: Two Restorative Responses. Although Public Shaming has caused and continues to cause a great deal of injury and pain, we have it in our power to eradicate this toxic behavior. However, it requires that each of us decides whether we want to be part of the ongoing problem or if we want to partake in its solution. It's as simple as that. If you are ready to commit, let's get started with Part Two. 2 Restorative Responses To Public Shaming: A Position of Restraint and A Posture of Unconditional Regard A Position of Restraint Whether you have been shaming others publicly or not, we are going to make a commitment right now to ado...

How To Respond When Someone Is Hurting: 3 Do's and 3 Don’ts It is really difficult to know how to respond when someone is hurting.   Whether an individual has experienced a recent death or a traumatic event, or is struggling with painful relationships or serious health issues, we often find ourselves saying the wrong thing or not saying anything at all for fear of saying the wrong thing. And yet, most of us want to be a source of comfort. Let’s take a look at how to respond when someone is hurting. Although there is much to say on this topic, for our purposes let’s consider implementing “3 Do's and 3 Don’ts.” First Do: Short Statements. Be Still and Listen. Offer Yourself This First Do is so simple. Gently approach an individual and begin with two short statements. 1) Acknowledge your understanding of the situation.     Example: “I recently found out that your uncle passed away.”   2) Express your emotion. Keep it short and sincere.. ...

We are having a discussion about Healthy Families . If you are new to this series, please return to Part One: Healthy Families - Is Mine Free of Entanglements? , and then join us here. We are examining families as a “system.” In other words,   families are like complex moving machines where each individual is an integral   and interdependent part to its overall level of functioning. Today, we move to Part Two Healthy Families: Is Mine Flexible? Flexible means to be able to change or adapt with ease. Flexible families tend to move through turbulence embracing an adaptive posture and stabilizing it in the process.  Let’s explore two areas of flexibility: Elastic Energize Elastic In defining a family system, elastic means the following: One which has the ability to stretch,    bend, or flex beyond its previously defined stasis. Read again, aloud. One which has the ability to stretch,   bend, or flex beyond its previ...

What I am about to share is based solely on anecdotal experience and observation.  Nothing more. My husband Dan and I recently returned from a vacation to parts of Western Europe and the Mediterranean. Thrilled to have an opportunity to share places I had visited as a college student and then as an adult, I couldn't wait to explore the wonders of other cultures with the love of my life! And, he was just as excited to experience it for the first time. Arriving first in Paris, we set out to visit as many of the tourist attractions as we could fit in during our stay there. In spite of the untimely heat wave, we did just that.  But because Dan and I are "foodies", we reserved our meal times for sleuthing out specialty restaurants and boutique cafe's nestled between quaint shops and greeted by cobblestone streets.  One afternoon, we stumbled across La Saotico - a gem of a restaurant. After being warmly welcomed by the owner, we made ourselves comfortable while s...

For the past several weeks, we have been discussing Couple Trouble - What Is At The Root Of It?  and  You Mean, "I" Have To Change?   If you have not read the previous two blogs, please do so! Today's blog will make more sense and the exercises will be more meaningful. Once both partners have finished the L ife Messages Exercise  - completing all five sections - you are ready to Rediscover and Reconnect with one another. Let's get started. Share Life Messages First , set aside an hour when both partners are available to meet. Make sure there are no interruptions or distractions.  Kids need to be put to bed or safely occupied. Put away all technology and/or work commitments!  Find a quiet comfortable place to meet and sit, facing each other. Bring your L ife Messages Exercises  to share with your partner. Secondly , follow the steps in the Empathic Reflective Listening Exercise .  One partner begins while the other listens.There is no in...

Valentine's Day is almost here!  Are you ready?  More importantly, do you feel that your relationship is stronger now that we are constantly 'connected' through technology? Many couples that I have talked with, especially females, are experiencing a loss of connection with their partners even though they are interacting electronically throughout the day! Why might this be?  We'll take a look at why in just a moment, but for now,  I'd like you to Tech-Proof Your Relationship by taking a little quiz! Answer Yes or No. Remember, Yes means true most of the time . Be honest and don't over-think your responses! Also, when answering the questions on your technology habits and usage, we are talking about time spent on  any electronic device.  Also, any work time spent on technology is not included. However, this should not exceed 8 hours per day, 5 days a week. Not weekends!  OK, here we go! 1.  I spend more face to face time with tech...