WellnessWithHolli

  Family Is Important and So Am I:  Part Three - Choose Your Sources of Respectful Support  and Loving Connection Today's blog is Part Three of three-part series: Family Is Important and So Am I. If you have not already read  Part One and Part Two , please do so and then return here. It is important to Choose Your Truth and Choose Your Health so that you can establish a solid foundation from which to Choose Your Sources of Respectful Support and Loving Connection.  This series is for individuals who have worked on their wellness, or for those who are currently embracing a path of recovery, or for those who have chosen an intentional healthy way of being which is much different from their family of origin.  And in spite of their levels of wellness, these individuals find themselve s  still injured by family members .   Although we cannot change the unhealthy behaviors of others, we can choose our response to them.     L...

  Family Is Important and So Am I - Part Two:  Choose Your Health Today's blog is Part Two of three-part series: Family Is Important and So Am I. If you have not already read Part One , please do so and then return here. It is important to Choose Your Truth so that you can establish a foundation from which to Choose Your Health. This series is for individuals who have worked on their wellness, or for those who are currently embracing a path of recovery, or for those who have chosen an intentional healthy way of being which is much different from their family of origin.  And in spite of their levels of wellness, these individuals find themselve s  still injured by family members .   Although we cannot change the unhealthy behaviors of others, we can choose our response to them.     Let's grab hold of another healing choice. It is time to stop hurting and… Choose Your Health As we have discussed in Part One, some families are heal...

Family Is Important and So Am I – Part One: Choose Your Truth Today's blog is Part One of three-part series: Family Is Important and So Am I Family.  A complicated topic.   Some are healthy. Some are not. Many treat one another with unconditional positive regard, love, acceptance, and belonging. Many do not.  Most families face all kinds of difficulties and life-altering disturbances. Compassionate and empathic family members come together, supporting one another and finding a way through their challenges. Sadly, there are many families who choose not to. This series is for individuals who have worked on their wellness, or for those who are currently embracing a path of recovery, or for those who have chosen an intentional healthy way of being which is much different from their family of origin.  And in spite of their levels of wellness, these individuals find themselve s  still injured by family members .  Because families are quite comp...

Week One - Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding Healing Begins By Increasing Our Understanding Shame.   Just the sound of the word is heavy.   Shame .   It is laden with debilitating emotions which cause most individuals to recoil at its emergence into our lives.   Renowned researcher and author  Dr. Brene' Brown   has courageously tackled the topic of shame and brought it into the comforting light of conversation. Dr. Brown defines shame as the following: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” (blog, 2013/01/14) In examining the definition of shame more closely, it is important to focus on Dr. Brown's  words: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy...” When individuals internalize the belief that...

How To Respond When Someone Is Hurting: 3 Do's and 3 Don’ts It is really difficult to know how to respond when someone is hurting.   Whether an individual has experienced a recent death or a traumatic event, or is struggling with painful relationships or serious health issues, we often find ourselves saying the wrong thing or not saying anything at all for fear of saying the wrong thing. And yet, most of us want to be a source of comfort. Let’s take a look at how to respond when someone is hurting. Although there is much to say on this topic, for our purposes let’s consider implementing “3 Do's and 3 Don’ts.” First Do: Short Statements. Be Still and Listen. Offer Yourself This First Do is so simple. Gently approach an individual and begin with two short statements. 1) Acknowledge your understanding of the situation.     Example: “I recently found out that your uncle passed away.”   2) Express your emotion. Keep it short and sincere.. ...

We are talking about friendships! For the purposes of this series, we are looking at healthy friendships as a necessary component of any relationship such as a best friend, a family member, a co-worker, or a life-partner. In week one, we examined the first important quality to consider in developing and maintaining healthy friendships – EASY . In order to get the most out of our series, please return to week one and read how three essential characteristics are necessary in order for friendships to be EASY :  Authentic, Honest, and Trustworthy. Today, we are moving onto the second quality to consider in cultivating healthy friendships – Equal. Are my friendships EQUAL ? Equal?   That seems really strange, doesn’t it? Yes.   When we think of the word equal , definitions such as identical, alike, uniform, and the same come to mind.   However, in our discussion of friendships, the quality of being equal is defined quite differently.   Equality in a fr...

Friendships!   What would our lives be without them? We develop friendships in the most natural of gatherings including our families, school, work, places of worship, service organizations, community causes, and sports interests. In more recent times, our network of friendships has grown exponentially as we connect with individuals in our cyber lives. Friendships meet all kinds of needs and serve us in all kinds of ways. Some are extremely important to us; others are less so.  With TV shows, media, and social networking redefining friendship, it can be confusing as to what healthy friendship is. Friendship is a critical component of many relationships, such as marriages or partnerships. However, for the purposes of   this series, we are focusing on any close friends currently in our lives.   These are friendships which may be relatively new or they may be longstanding. Either way, we have chosen to invest ourselves, our time, and our resources into these indi...