WellnessWithHolli

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, most of us are acclimating to "resting in place" mandates or recommendations. Losses continue to be felt on every level. Financial worries are becoming hard realities. Fear, anxiety, and stress are running rampant creating havoc with our emotional well being. During this time of extreme overwhelm and upset, it is critical to embrace healthy releases. Although we are confined to our spaces, we have an accessible healing tool available to us - Soaking. When we think of the word "soak," most of think of removing something by immersing it in water for a period of time, like a stain on a shirt. For our purposes of removing overwhelm from our lives, to soak means to allow suffering to enter and pass through you . In other words, don't fight the upset. Allow it to enter. Feel it. Acknowledge it. And then, allow it to pass through you. How do we accomplish that? Before the COVID-19 crisis, I was working with a client wh...

Yesterday, for the first time as a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist, I conducted my client sessions via Teletherapy. Due to do all of the changes during the COVID-19 crisis, I had not seen or talked with my clients for nearly two weeks. Although they were experiencing a wide range of emotions, the predominant one was grief. As one of my clients wiped her eyes, she shared, "Holli, I wake up during the night and I am just so sad." Before I could speak, she apologized for her tears. I responded empathically, "It's' okay to cry. It's healing to cry."  As much as most of us are trying to stay strong - for ourselves and our loved ones - our lives have been turned upside down in a very short period of time. We are experiencing loss on every level: personally, relationally, professionally, financially, materially, and so on. Not only is there chronic present-day loss , but there is fear and anxiety of anticipated loss. We don't know how long...

We are having a discussion about Healthy Families. If you are new to this series, please return to  Part One Healthy Families: Is Mine Free of Entanglements? , and  Part Two Healthy Families: Is Mine Flexible? Then join us here. We are examining families as a “system.” In other words,   families are like complex moving machines   where each individual is an integral   and interdependent part to its overall level of functioning and wellbeing. Today, we move to Part Three Healthy Families: Is Mine For-Giving? Any system functions well when there is a shared mindset of For-Giving. We are not talking about the   traditional definitions of forgiveness when one party pardons, excuses, or absolves another.   We are talking about an intentional interplay between family members in which each person is responsible for the wellbeing of the system by implementing three behaviors. Families are healthy when they share a mindset of For-Giving: To Se...

For several decades, my dad maintained an extraordinary garden filled with an assortment of Deliberate Cultivation scrumptious melons, colorful chili peppers, various beans and mouth-watering tomatoes! After enjoying several seasons of delicious delights, the cool temperatures of winter brought change with it. My dad meticulously removed all the dead plants from his designated garden boxes, rolled up his hoses, turned off his drip system, and methodically secured his plethora of tools in his neatly arranged garden shed.  The soil remained in its solitary mode until the warmth of spring signaled the arrival of planting season.  Beginning his yearly ritual, my dad tended to his boxes making sure their structures were solid and secure. He checked and rechecked the drip system. My dad spent days cleaning out the remnants of debris, raking through the layers of earth while gingerly feeding it nutrients from a nearby compost pile. And then with his hands, he tenderly removed a...

For the past several weeks, we have been "letting go of stuff"!  This is a New Year and we want to cleanse ourselves of those people, places, things, emotions, etc. that bog us down and keep us from being in a well and whole place! In week one, we learned how to identify our "stuff' by completing a thorough self-inventory, and then in week two, we looked at some cognitive-behavioral strategies for "letting go of our stuff'! If you haven't done this yet, please start today.  If you are working on this, great!  Keep going....this is a process!  Go slowly and reward yourself along the way! Today, we are going to look at Step Three: In Letting Go...We Give Back To Ourselves. Step Three is  not really a "step" in the literal context of the word, but it is a critical concept of our renewal process in the New Year. Let me explain by sharing this short narrative. In my young adult life and all during my adult years, my dad maintained an extra...

In the previous blog, we discussed the importance of forgiveness in relapse recovery .  We also examined different ways to redefine the word forgiveness  and  to re-frame its definition in order to facilitate its implementation into our recovery practices. Lastly, we discussed the concept of internal forgiveness - forgiveness of self - one piece in the process of letting go of unhealthy emotions which keep us bound in our relapse and tethered to our betrayal of self. Today, we are going to address the second part of the releasing process - external forgiveness - forgiveness of other people, places, and things. With the understanding that we alone are responsible for our choices and Severing the rope of unforgiveness decisions that have led us into our relapse episode or period of regression into unhealthy behaving, thinking or feeling, it is also important to recognize that there may be destructive outside influences or on-going painful relationships that trig...