We Are Betraying Our Children and They Are Dying: Three Actions To Take Right Now

 A Wake-up Call

Parents and Guardians and anyone entrusted with the care and wellbeing of our children, today’s blog is A Wake-Up Call.

On the news this last week, the CDC released a report titled  Youth Risk Behavior Survey. This was a two-year survey of 9th – 12th graders across the country about a range of health behaviors and experiences. The results also validate trends over the past decade.

The statistics are startling but not surprising.

11% of all teens reported facing sexual violence in the past year. 18% of girls and 22% of LGBTQ youth.

60% of teen girls had depressive symptoms in the past year (highest level in a decade).

Suicide rates have sky-rocketed. One in three girls reported seriously considering suicide in the past year (60% rise from a decade ago).

Teen girls who experienced sexual violence increased 20% between 2017 and 2021.

52% of teens experienced poor mental health in the past year. One in five had attempted suicide during that time.

Our Children Are Suffering

Although this report focused on teen girls, research over the past decade supports similar findings that the mental health of our youth – both male and female - is in crisis. Our children are suffering in increasing numbers. A few of the symptoms include the following:

Anxiety

Depression

Eating Disorders

Video game addiction

Self-harming behaviors such as cutting and burning

Intense feelings of worthlessness and loneliness / suicidality

Agreement On Causation

Along with many other experts, I have been researching and studying the decline in our children’s mental health since 2006.  Although there may be underlying organic pathology and individual sensitivities and considerations, there is agreement on causation.

Our children’s psychological health and emotional wellbeing are being damaged by their dependence on their electronic devices and their exposure to and interaction with indirect forms of socialization and communication.  

This Is The Truth

This is the truth.  The more time children spend on their devices for social interaction and communication and the more time they spend on social media, the more they feel unhappy, anxious, sad, lonely, insecure, empty, and worthless.

This is the truth.  As children become more depressed and isolated, they spend more time on their devices searching for acceptance, belonging, and trying to be enough.

This is the truth. The more our children search for their worth on social media, the more vulnerable they become - falling prey to at-risk behaviors and online predators.

We are NOT responsible for what we don't know. But, we know the truth.

When we know what is harming our children and we don't say something or do something, we are lying to them.

Our Children Are Being Betrayed

My words are strong.  They are intended to be.  I am very angry. I am sick and tired of our children harming themselves and taking their own lives, especially when the elephant in the room is NOT being addressed.

The elephant is the cause:  Social media apps have been developed to keep us coming back – to keep us addicted. 

Parents and Guardians, we are betraying our children 

by giving them too much access to their technology and too soon. 

As one expert said, “Our children are not being raised with technology, but by technology.” (Dr. Kathy Koch)

Three Actions To Take Right Now

Action One: Become Informed

Parents and Guardians, you are on the front lines. Schools can’t fix this. Teachers can’t fix this.  Saving our children starts at home. 

 Please become informed. Please read one or more of the following books. These are dedicated experts who care about your children!

Disconnected - Thomas Kiersting 

Screens and Teens  - Dr. Kathy Koch

Reset Your Child's Brain - Dr. Victoria Dunkley

iGen- Dr. Jean Twenge 

Glow Kids - Dr. Nicholas Kadaras 

Please check out the following websites:

Screen Strong

Family Online Safety Institute

Center for Humane Technology

The Screenagers Project  


Action Two: Reset Your Entire Family

Parents and Guardians, we must make changes too. We MUST model what we expect of our children.

I have written two books that will guide you step by step in resetting your family. 

It's NOT about banning technology. It's about finding a healthy balance!

Power Down & Parent Up

Pilates For Parenting: Stretch Yourself and Strengthen Your Family

 In addition, if “gaming” has become a problem in your family, especially with your children, please check out the following site.

Game Quitters  - Cam Adair 

Action Three: Do The Hard Work Up Front

Parents and Guardians, I was a middle and high-school teacher for over 25 years.  I am also a mother. It is hard to go against the flow. But, just becasue everyone has a phone or everyone is on social media doesn't mean that it is healthy!

Whether we are addressing drug and alcohol addiction or screen addiction, it is better to do the hard work up front than to live with the heartache in the end. 

I heard on the news last night that a school district in Washington is suing several social media sites for the damage caused to their students’ mental health.  They don’t have enough counselors to deal with depressed, anxious, suicidal students.

Like so many other issues, why do we wait until there is a crisis? 

Let’s stop being reactive. Let’s start being proactive.  

Let’s start taking care of our own children. NOW! 


For more resources, please visit

Holli Kenley - Author, Therapist, Speaker

Amazon




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