WellnessWithHolli

  The Humpty Dumpty Puzzle: How to live a healthy life while being a part of an unhealthy family Introduction When I was a little girl, I remember listening to a strange little nursery rhyme – Humpty Dumpty.  Although it was one of many popular nursery rhymes of my childhood, it was sad and odd.  It goes like this: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall  Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King’s horseman and all the King’s men Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again Background  In my adolescent, teen, and young adult years, I knew my family of origin was not healthy. There was alcoholism, emotional abuse, anger, and fractured relationships. It wasn’t until I embraced my recovery in my 30’s that I realized the depth of my family’s brokenness. I moved away from my family of origin and although I loved them, I - along with my husband and daughter - created a new, healthy way of being and I lived my life apart from them – physically and emotionally.  My life conti...

 A Wake-up Call Parents and Guardians and anyone entrusted with the care and wellbeing of our children, today’s blog is A Wake-Up Call. On the news this last week, the CDC released a report titled  Youth Risk Behavior Survey . This was a two-year survey of 9 th – 12 th graders across the country about a range of health behaviors and experiences. The results also validate trends over the past decade. The statistics are startling but not surprising. 11% of all teens reported facing sexual violence in the past year. 18% of girls and 22% of LGBTQ youth. 60% of teen girls had depressive symptoms in the past year (highest level in a decade). Suicide rates have sky-rocketed. One in three girls reported seriously considering suicide in the past year (60% rise from a decade ago). Teen girls who experienced sexual violence increased 20% between 2017 and 2021. 52% of teens experienced poor mental health in the past year. One in five had attempted suicide during that tim...

Oprah Winfrey  and  Prince Harry have produced a new series on mental health - "The Me You Can't See"  If  the words, "the me you can't see" speak to you in any way, I encourage you to watch this powerful series. If you're feeling like an imposter or unseen because you are hiding behind your hurt, the stories of shared suffering in "The Me You Can't See" will connect with you in ways which you may not have felt before.   Inspired by the series, today's blog is a personal message to you. Because of the stigma and shame around the fragility of our mental health, many of  us walk around with emotional and psychological wounds thinking it is better to pretend that nothing is wrong than to admit our lives are not working for us in the ways we have dreamed of and desired. I hope today's blog will encourage you to share your feelings and allow yourself to be seen.  Although there are many reasons why individuals don't seek help or de...

For the past eleven years, Co-Founder of  Creative Change Conferences “It Happens To Boys” Carol Teitelbaum, LMFT, has   provided a safe platform for bringing healing to an invisible and deeply injured population in our societies - men who were sexually traumatized as boys. Male presenters of notoriety and men known only to those who are blessed to know them unveiled their narratives of past abuse and ensuing recovery, dismantling normative destructive life-messages of what is it “to be a man” and reconstructing new life-messages based on honesty, compassion, and self-love. As each presenter told his truths, each emphasized the importance of breaking through the cultural and societal barriers of toxic masculinity, unwritten norms which define adherence to male gender roles and restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys and men. Thus, on a warm fall day in October 2019 in Southern California, USA,   individual professionals in the mental health field, recovery or...

As days turn into weeks, we find ourselves facing more and more loss during the COVID-19 pandemic. Even though there are small pockets of hope in certain areas of the world or in our own communities, most families are dealing with overwhelming stress, fear, scarcity, and uncertainty. Within the confines of living in close quarters combined with the restrictions placed upon us by the recommended guidelines, we are experiencing loss in every aspect of our daily lives. It is hard on adults; it is very hard on our children and our young adults. Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19 means sharing our disappointments and despair with one another.  And, it is important for each of us to talk about  how our grief feels and how it shows up. Because, Understanding Our Grief Helps To Move Through It.   Most of us are familiar with the five stages of grief as identified by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. However, over t...

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, most of us are acclimating to "resting in place" mandates or recommendations. Losses continue to be felt on every level. Financial worries are becoming hard realities. Fear, anxiety, and stress are running rampant creating havoc with our emotional well being. During this time of extreme overwhelm and upset, it is critical to embrace healthy releases. Although we are confined to our spaces, we have an accessible healing tool available to us - Soaking. When we think of the word "soak," most of think of removing something by immersing it in water for a period of time, like a stain on a shirt. For our purposes of removing overwhelm from our lives, to soak means to allow suffering to enter and pass through you . In other words, don't fight the upset. Allow it to enter. Feel it. Acknowledge it. And then, allow it to pass through you. How do we accomplish that? Before the COVID-19 crisis, I was working with a client wh...

The Corona Virus has launched us into unchartered waters.  We are fearful, anxious, and upset. The Corona Virus is robbing us of our normal way of life, and there is much which we cannot do. In order to help navigate this storm, let's take advantage of  5 Things We Can Do.  1) Remain Calm The yucky news is that we know we are in a horrible situation where there are many things out of our control. However, the reassuring news is we can choose how we respond to it. Utilize any of the following practices to help alleviate or reduce stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and depression. First, throughout the waking day: Pray or meditate (several times a day) Practice deep breathing (easy to do all throughout the day) Exercise or work out Give yourself permission to take a nap Embrace low impact body/mind exercises such as yoga or pilates Go outside and play or take a long walk in nature  Play all kinds of games (board, cards, and "some" video games) Create: write,...