WellnessWithHolli

On Saturday, March 30th, 2024, I had the honor of competing in  Ms Senior California Pageant .  I participated in this beautiful pageant to model the importance of   Showing Up For Your Self  ! For my talent, I wrote and performed an orginal poem Where Is Your Beauty? This message is for everyone, regardless of age or gender! Where Is Your Beauty? Where is your beauty? Be still. Turn inward. It’s there. How is that possible?   Beauty is birthed from within. Its genesis?  A seed of self-worth. Waiting to be nourished and nurtured.   At first, the seed is watered and fed by others. Nutrients of Love. Compassion. Protection. Encouragement. The seed of self-worth takes root.   Time passes.  A stem of worth emerges. Fed with Confidence. Strength. Belonging. Acceptance. The essence of inner beauty begins to form.    All growth faces resistance. Outside forces can be cruel. Even forces close to us. ...

I'm so excited! On March 30th, 2024,  I will be participating in the  Ms. Senior California Age of Elegance Pageant! Before you chuckle or secretly judge me, I want you to know that I am doing this because I have learned the importance of Showing Up For My Self! And not just as a senior female, but throughout my entire adult life. And so, I pose this question to you – Are You Showing Up For Your Self ?   3  Reasons For Doing So! One: You Respect Your Self When you show up for Your Self,   You Respect Your Self.   This means that you take really good care of Your Self in all areas of your life.   For example, you make it a priority to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. You Respect Your Self by pursuing your interests, abilities, and talents. You Respect Your Self by staying true to who you are and what is important to you. There are many reasons why individuals don't take good care of themselves or lose interest in doing so...

During the past year, several of my adult female clients excitedly shared about a book they had read and how it had helped them in numerous ways. Because I want to be able to connect with teachings which are meaningful to my clients, I ordered and read  "Untamed: stop pleasing, start living"  by Glennon Doyle . Not only have I read it several times, but I have also listened to the audiobook, in full, twice.  Today's blog is not a review of  "Untamed." There are thousands of them on Amazon. The purpose of today's blog is to tap into the powerful message of how "Untamed" Teaches Us About The Cages We Live In, and to explore How Do We Break Free?  In doing so, we will highlight two important cages  -  the unhealthy relationships we have with others and the one we have with ourselves.  Because I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, my work is specifically tailored to the healing of relationships. When my clients come to me, most are in ...

Week Three: Self-Shaming: Internal Causes Thus far in our series on Self-Shaming, we have discussed  "Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding"  and  "Self-Shaming: External Causes .“ In order to get the most from this series, you are invited to read weeks one and two, and then join us here for week three, “Self-Shaming: Internal Causes.” To refresh our understanding of Self-Shaming, we have defined it as the following: Self-Shaming is the cognitive and behavioral practice of self-devaluation which manifests as the result of feeling shame or being shamed by someone or something. In our discussion, we have focused on our Self-Shaming life-messages - the internal dialogue we say to ourselves about our lack of worth and value. Although the genesis of many of our “Self-Shaming” life messages comes from “External Causes” – Primary Care-Givers, Environments of Betrayal, and Social Media – it is important to examine internal causation as well.   ...

Week One - Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding Healing Begins By Increasing Our Understanding Shame.   Just the sound of the word is heavy.   Shame .   It is laden with debilitating emotions which cause most individuals to recoil at its emergence into our lives.   Renowned researcher and author  Dr. Brene' Brown   has courageously tackled the topic of shame and brought it into the comforting light of conversation. Dr. Brown defines shame as the following: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” (blog, 2013/01/14) In examining the definition of shame more closely, it is important to focus on Dr. Brown's  words: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy...” When individuals internalize the belief that...

How Do We Become Empowered ? Empowered is a word we hear frequently.  It suggests strength.  Although its connotations are appealing, it often times feels out of reach.  It is like an exquisite diamond ring casting its sparkle through the glass casings of a high-priced jewelry boutique.  Its magnificence catches our eye, and for a moment, we wonder what it would feel like to try it on. How would it transform us? Who could we become? We pause, allowing ourselves time to think about it. We may even give ourselves permission to believe a transformation could happen. Then, just as the brilliant vision of a different way of being begins to descend upon us, it quickly dissipates. Why is it that becoming empowered seems to elude us?   Is it really out of reach or is it a question of knowing where to find it and how to try it on? Is it really out of reach? The word empowered begins with a very important prefix – em – which means within and through. Thus...

We have been exploring an all-to-common and painful topic- injury from betrayal. If you have not had a chance, please read our first three blogs in this series:  Help Is On The Way ,  What Is Behind The Mask?  , and  Feeling Confused, Worthless, and Powerless?  I want you to know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. And just as importantly, by understanding what you are feeling and why, you begin the journey of recovering. Today, we are going to tackle a challenging topic - Blindsided by the Betrayal Bandit? Free Yourself From Four Painful Traps!  When we are betrayed,  it is our instinct to search outside ourselves for answers, for truth,  and for some measure of control over our lives. Sadly, doing so lengthens our stay in the pain-field.                                                       ...