WellnessWithHolli

Week Four - Self-Shaming: Its Impact On Us For the past several weeks, we have been discussing “Self-Shaming.” In week one, "Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding,"  we explored our Self-Shaming life-messages – the internal dialogue we say to ourselves about our lack of worth and value.   In week two, "Self-Shaming: External Causes,"   we learned that the genesis of many of our Self-Shaming life-messages comes from Primary Care-Givers, Environments of Betrayal, and Social Media. However, in week three, "Self-Shaming: Internal Causes,"   we also learned that Self-Shaming life-messages evolve from Our Beliefs, Our Choices, and Our Unworthy Attachments. We acknowledged that there can be cross-over with any of the areas of causation. In order to get the most from this series, please read each of the articles   and implement the Reflective Exercises at the end of each one. Then, join us here for “Self-Shaming: Its Impact On Us.” Let’s beg...

Week Three: Self-Shaming: Internal Causes Thus far in our series on Self-Shaming, we have discussed  "Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding"  and  "Self-Shaming: External Causes .“ In order to get the most from this series, you are invited to read weeks one and two, and then join us here for week three, “Self-Shaming: Internal Causes.” To refresh our understanding of Self-Shaming, we have defined it as the following: Self-Shaming is the cognitive and behavioral practice of self-devaluation which manifests as the result of feeling shame or being shamed by someone or something. In our discussion, we have focused on our Self-Shaming life-messages - the internal dialogue we say to ourselves about our lack of worth and value. Although the genesis of many of our “Self-Shaming” life messages comes from “External Causes” – Primary Care-Givers, Environments of Betrayal, and Social Media – it is important to examine internal causation as well.   ...

Week Two - Self-Shaming: External Causes In week one of our series, we examined,  " Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding," We learned that Self-Shaming is the cognitive and behavioral practice of self-devaluation which manifests as the result of feeling shame or being shamed by someone or something. Although there are other manifestations of Self-Shaming behavior, we focused on the intrusive presence of our self-deprecating life-messages which fuel and feed our feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. We also discussed how Self-Shaming thrives in secrecy and silence, as individuals are fearful of disclosing their true feelings for risk of being further blamed and judged. As we move into week two, “Self-Shaming: External Causes," this is important.   Given any sensitive or tender topic such as Self-Shaming, it is often difficult to examine sources of our pain. It requires that we remain open, as we courageously face the truths around people, place...

Week One - Self-Shaming: Increasing Our Understanding Healing Begins By Increasing Our Understanding Shame.   Just the sound of the word is heavy.   Shame .   It is laden with debilitating emotions which cause most individuals to recoil at its emergence into our lives.   Renowned researcher and author  Dr. Brene' Brown   has courageously tackled the topic of shame and brought it into the comforting light of conversation. Dr. Brown defines shame as the following: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” (blog, 2013/01/14) In examining the definition of shame more closely, it is important to focus on Dr. Brown's  words: “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy...” When individuals internalize the belief that...

With the holiday season upon us, it is easy to feel anxious and stressed. There is much to do and not enough time to do it in. In addition, with worries around the costs of gift-giving and travel as well as meeting family expectations, our joy begins to slip away. To add to the tension of the holidays, stores are crammed with pushy shoppers and streets are filled with impatient drivers. Gosh, no wonder with each passing day, we feel more agitated and less appreciative of the season. Let’s take a look at how we navigate a happier and healthier mindset during Holiday Turbulence. 3 Easy Practices For Staying Balanced! Breathe and Hold Suspend Beliefs Be In The Moment Let’s begin with our first practice. Breathe and Hold You’ve probably heard about the importance to taking deep breaths when dealing with stress or anxiety. However, we’re going to change it up a little.   The exercise is as follows: 1) When you feel mad, tense, anxious, irritable etc., clo...

I thought it was hard raising my daughter in the 80's and 90's.  Of course, there were challenges, but my heart goes out to parents and guardians who are currently raising children. I think it is much more difficult and dangerous today. Why? Two reasons. First, our children's degree of access and exposure to and consumption of anything  has increased exponentially, especially to technology. Secondly, social normative behaviors have conditioned us into believing that if we don't go with the flow, our children will miss out.  Let's examine how responsible adults can navigate the Parent Tech Trap and find answers to the question, "How Do I Know What Is Best For My Children?"                                                                         Who I Am Matters.  What I Do As A Par...