WellnessWithHolli

The United States and most of the world are entering into the sixth month of the COVID-19 pandemic. Re-openings and returns to "normalcy" appear to vary greatly from country to country, from state to state, and from one locality to another. And with folks embracing differing belief systems around the nature of the virus and how they choose to live their lives, there is significant variance surrounding the degree of suffering from mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse / addiction. However, with most of my clients as well as with family and friends, many individuals seem to be struggling with one painful emotion on some level - loneliness.   For today's blog, I was going to give you a few tips or tools for helping with your feelings of loneliness. But, I think most of you know what you need. In addition, out of respect for your beliefs and the COVID guidelines within your area,  there are no "blanket" recommendations which wou...

Over the past several weeks, a number of my clients who have been working really hard on their wellness issues began to falter. Of course, as the COVID pandemic rages on with uncertainties around jobs, money, schooling, etc., stress is being compounded. However, I noticed there was something different, something more serious. And then, during an intense session with a remarkable, successful, strong female client, she broke down. "Holli, I feel so confused. I don't know who or what to believe any more about COVID . I feel like I am living through my childhood again with my narcissistic mother who was constantly gaslighting me. It's scary....I don't like feeling this way. Why is this happening?" Suddenly, I realized that in the divisive political climate of the United States, many individuals are feeling incredibly distressed by the incessant stream of mixed and conflicted messaging . And with folks who have a history of  psychological abuse, they are being tr...

The past few months of the COVID-19 pandemic have been hard on everyone . In the past several blogs of Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19, we have discussed the psychological, physical, and economic toll it has taken on us. And, we have covered a few healing strategies for managing the myriad of stresses and their accompanying symptoms (*see below). Today, it is important to talk about Relapse - a sensitive topic which is impacting almost everyone in some form and to some degree.   Before you say to yourself, "Well, I'm not an addict or alcoholic,"  please read on. We relapse anytime we fall back or regress into, or return to any kind of unhealthy relationship or pattern of thinking, behaving, or feeling after a period of  stability or wellness. Over the past several months, I have listened to clients as they beat themselves up in the followings ways: For giving up on their healthy eating choices For blowing up at their kids after managing thei...

Recently, I finished reading  Tara Westover's powerful memoir, "Educated."  This blog is neither a review of her work or a critique of its content. It is about its offerings. I think one of the extraordinary gifts of "Educated" is Ms. Westover's willingness to share her story with raw and rarely revealed levels of vulnerability. I was completely taken by this book. Why?  Because "Educated" Reminds Us, Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost. And, Tara Westover, chose to Speak It Anyway . Speaking Truth About Abuse Comes At A Cost Folks often question why victims don't speak up or why they don't speak up sooner about their abuse. Although there are many reasons for not doing so and individual circumstances vary greatly,   Tara Westover's memoir courageously unveils the costs of speaking truth about abuse and bravely unearths their painful consequences.  Let's explore three areas of cost: Being Shamed Being Shattered Bein...

Depending on the area in which you live, most of us are beginning to enter a new phase of the COVID-19 pandemic - the reopening of our cities, counties, and states/provinces, etc . As we do so, there is excitement and exuberation for some. There is still fear and frustration for others. At the very least, there is a mixture of apprehension blended with an urgency for a return to some kind of normalcy. Although all of these feelings are to be expected and many contribute to our confusion and anxiety over what to do and how to proceed, what is most important in Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19 is Choosing What Is Healthy For You and Your Loved Ones.  Each person, couple, or family has unique beliefs and perspectives about COVID-19. Every individual, partner, and family dynamic has differing circumstances, underlying health considerations and vulnerabilities, and each is desperately trying to navigate a number of psychosocial stressors (such as bill paying, providing enoug...

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to wreak havoc with every aspect our lives, the grief we are experiencing is beginning to subside. Confusion, denial, shock and sadness are being replaced by more confusion, anger, and feelings of complete and total powerlessness. This is important. It never has been nor will it ever be the intent of this blog to advance any political agenda. This blog is about our mental health. Therefore, it will suffice to say that as COVID-19 is ravaging people's lives, folks are feeling betrayed, for all different kinds of reasons and from a plethora of sources.  What is important in staying mentally well during COVID-19 is for individuals to understand that when we are betrayed, we enter into a state of powerlessness . Why? Because we are prisoners of circumstances we did not create, and we are held hostage to the decisions of others. What is so frightening about this state of powerlessness is at one moment we may feel very vulnerable and weak. At oth...

In our most recent post on Staying Mentally Well During COVID-19, we discussed how  Understanding Our Grief Helps To Move Through It .   If you have not already done so, please read through those healing concepts and then join us here for one more very important aspect of honoring our grieving process:  Avoid Comparing Your Losses and Carrying Around Guilt. The COVID-19 pandemic safety guidelines and restrictions were rolled out many weeks ago. Even with variances in their implementation and regulation, loss has occurred and continues to occur on every level and in every aspect of our lives. As we witness individuals lose their loved ones, our hearts break for them. As folks are let go from their jobs and are left standing in long lines for hours waiting for food, we help when we can and we wonder if support funds will reach them in time. And although most of us are making sacrifices of some kind, every day we witness families who are struggling with housing, food, and ...